My writing: Identity Thief: Chapter 1: Love At First Lie

This is something I wrote. I consider it Young Adult science fiction.

Every day I saw him his eyes were different. At first I thought it was the light but it was getting more noticeable. One day they were green, the next they were blue. I was getting more and more freaked out every day. When he asked me to go to his house I was doubtful.
"Do you want to go to my house after school?"Jackson asked.

 "I......I guess, but I'll have to ask my mom if it's okay." I answered nervously,"She's getting home late tonight. Maybe tomorrow."

"Please ask if you can! I would really appreciate it if you could." Jackson begged. I promised I would ask then the bell to start the next class rang.

 "I need to go I'll see you later!" I screamed as I ran down the hall to English class.
 "If I don't hurry up, Mrs. Harrison is going to kill me. What's a good excuse I had to go to the bathroom, no too old fashioned. I... I had to get my homework from my locker. That's it!" I thought as I rushed to class.

 "Ms. Kingston, can you please explain to me why you're late?" Mrs. Harrison questioned with a very irritated tone.

 "I had to go to my locker to get my homework." I lied as I found my seat.

 "Okay you're off the hook this time, but next time you're getting a detention."

 "Yes ma'am."

 "Now everybody turn in your homework. I expect to see good grades from all of you, understand?"

 "Yes Mrs. Harrison!" The class chanted in unison.

                                                                 ~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 I was dead tired after school. In P.E. we had to run 1 mile sprints, in track we had to run 100 meter dash, and in volleyball we had to run around the 1000ftx1000ft gym 5 times. The phone started ringing and I wandered around to find it. I found it on the coffee table and the screen said unknown number.

"Hello, who is this?" I questioned as I answered the phone.

 "Is this, Sarah Kingston?" The person on the other end questioned, by the way he sounded, I figured it was a 16 or 17 year old boy.

 "This is she. But you never answered my question. Who is this?" I demanded as I shifted the phone to the other ear.

 "Jackson Lincoln, you know, from school. I was wondering if I could come over?" The boy, apparently Jackson, replied. "Anyway, what's with your annoying attitude?"

 "Well you're calling me at 10:00 P.M. what did you think I was going to do? Say that you're my best friend and skip to your house?" I sarcastically replied, " I'm dead tired, plus my mom still isn't home, so n-o. NO!"

 "Fine, but I'm not going to quit until I get what I want."Jackson screamed into the phone before slamming down the phone and on that note I went to sleep.

 Tell me what you think. I would appreciate constructive criticism and don't sugar coat it please.

No comments:

Post a Comment